Saturday, August 2, 2014

Missionary Misadventures

I must admit that although my intentions to keep up the blog have been good, my execution has been really poor.  I usually think about it late at night, and then realize that I have to get up early the next day, and won't have time to add much.  And then I think of all the pictures and things I would like to report, and know that I'll never catch up, so here's a little story to reward you for checking back on my page.

Several months ago we rented another flat for an additional pair of missionaries.  Due to other circumstances, we had to move two companionships into this new flat while one of the older flats was being refurbished.  We soon discovered that locking the bathroom door was a no-no.  One of our branch missionaries locked the door and spent several hours inside before I could devise a way to get him out.  We told all the missionaries not to lock the door, and they have been good about passing that on.

However, on the last transfer, someone forgot to tell the brand-new missionary about the no door lock policy, and sure enough he locked himself in.  The other missionaries called for me and I showed up to see if we could extract him.  Unfortunately he had twisted the head off the key, and after much wiggling and jiggling, he finally managed to remove the key and shove it under the door.  The outside missionaries had tried to open the lock, and succeeded in totally jamming the mechanism.

I arrived with my toolbox, and spent 30 minutes or so trying to remove the key from the lock, but to no avail. By now, the new missionary has been in the bathroom for more than two hours.  We leaned on the door, tried to pry it away from the jamb, worked on the wood with a chisel, all to no avail.  It was time to use a bigger hammer.

Elder P. is Tongan, a football linesman, at that.  He has lost almost 40kg since coming on his mission, but still weighs over 125kg.  I said, "Elder O. get away from the door so you won't be in the way when it opens."

Then I said "Elder P. I want you to hit that door."

He said, "Really, Elder Reynolds?!!!"

"Really!"

He took two steps, and the door blew open and crashed against the wall inside.  I got a glimpse of Elder O. and his eyes were really big at that point.

Elder P., "Man, that felt good, just like being on the field again."  The smile on his face was absolutely ear to ear, and he was still grinning 6 hours later.  His last remark was, "This is going to go in my journal!"

My only regret was that we didn't get a picture!!  A new door lockset, several nails and some paint, and the door is operational again, not much the worse for wear.  We will miss Elder P., who is being transferred this week.  I told him the reason he was assigned to Blantyre was to open that door for us.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

I seem to have gotten behind in updating the blog.  October?? and now it is the end of January.  Fortunately there are pictures to remind us, so I'll do at least a synopsis of the last three months.  We had hoped to make another trip to Liwonde to visit the group there for another baptism, but our schedule has been full most of the time.  I will post this tonight and put the pictures in in the next little while.

November saw us driving to Lilongwe for the first time since we arrived here.  We have made several half-trips to deliver personnel and immigration papers.  We drive to Ntcheu and meet someone coming from Lilongwe, exchange mail and passengers, and then drive home again.  It means that we can get things to the northern end of our areas with only 5 hours spent from each end instead of a 10-hour marathon to make the full round trip.  We have gotten so that we can enjoy the trip a little more--not so much stress about getting lost on the way and knowing the right time to be driving to miss most of the obstacles (MARKET DAY, FESTIVALS, HEAVY TRUCKS).  We also learned not to come home later than 5:00pm, since the homebound traffic in Blantyre includes bicycles with loads 6 feet wide, oxcarts, wheelchairs, pedestrians wearing black clothing, vehicles without lights, and multiple under-powered large trucks on every hill.  After dark it gets to be a real nail-biter.

We had company for Thanksgiving, although we ate dinner on Sunday.  Elder and Sister Hales, who were the PEF missionaries came to visit.  We had roast chicken, stuffing, mashed potatos and gravy, Sister Reynolds' carrot casserole which was a real hit, and a "pumpkin" pie made with butternut squash, which turned out to be even better.

Hales were hoping to introduce the PEF program and get the young people started.  Much to their surprise, they found 20 candidates with their paperwork already complete, the interviews done, and proposals for admittance to the various vocational institutions in Malawi ready to be submitted.  Unfortunately she suffered some health issues, and they had to be released early.  They were home in time for Christmas.  The schooling is now kind of in limbo, because we do not have new PEF missionaries yet, but the young people are moving forward on their own, hoping to obtain loans after they are enrolled in school. The YSA group here is powerful.

So, back to the trip to Lilongwe.  We took the entire zone of missionaries, along with both counselors from Blantyre District and their wives, for a total of 22, 14 in our trucks and 8 on the AXA bus.  We stayed two nights, and spent time in leadership meetings with Elder James D. Martino from the Seventy who was touring our mission.  This was the first time we have had both Malawi zones together since the mission was opened. We received marvelous training and counsel.  The training had more to do with obtaining referrals rather than knocking gates, and the counsel was about working more closely with the members, including helping with home teaching, visiting teaching, and being more a part of the ward rather than just working in the area.  The work of integrating new members into the church should be shared, rather than just left to one or the other group to do, since the missionaries are always being reassigned. It was a great experience to have us all together, and to personally meet with one of the Seventy

December was busy, as usual.  We had one of our sister missionaries who had to go home early.  Bless her heart, she kept going with pretty severe abdominal pain for 8 months, but after multiple trips to the hospital and testing, she elected to go home.  She was heart-broken, but it was for the best, and she had done her best.  They finally diagnosed her with parasites, although she had been tested for those while here.  We had been advised by the area medical office that drinking an occasional Coke would help prevent that.  She had elected not to do that for personal reasons.  I'm not sure if it would have helped, but it seems to be working for the rest of us.  The Coke and Pepsi here is a little different.  It is not as sweet, and I'm sure it has less caffeine.  I could never drink a whole can of Pepsi without getting all buzzed, but here it doesn't even faze me.  I can go to sleep right after a can of Pepsi.  Not that I mind, as long as it keeps the parasites at bay.

Christmas was another story.  It was hard to get in the spirit of Christmas when we were used to snow and cold.  The temperature was averaging right around 82* and all the flowering trees were in bloom.  It finally cooled down a little bit when it started to rain, but it was still in the high 70's most days.  The stores put up decorations, and played Christmas music, but we had a pretty hard time keeping from laughing when they played Jingle Bells, White Christmas, and such.  That's not happening here, folks! I was sitting in church after Thanksgiving, and they sang "Heark the Herald Angels Sing" for the opening song.  Before I realized why, I thought to myself, "Why are they singing those songs this time of year?"  Duh, it's December, old man.

Sister Reynolds went all out for Christmas.  She asked the missionaries what they would do at home at Christmas time, and incorporated their suggestions into her dinner planning.  We found a couple of small turkeys (Wow!), did a couple of small roasts.  She made rolls for sandwich buns, some regular crescent rolls (a special request) and he famous sausage rolls.  She did pickles, crackers, fresh salsa, home-made ranch dip, shrimp dip (I actually found some Philadelphia Cream Cheese--don't ask how much it was), and olives.  She scrounged for all kinds of substitutions, but made sugar cookies, frosted cutout cookies (the sister missionaries asked to help), ginger snaps, texas sheet-cake, fudge, english toffee, and peanut brittle. They don't have brown sugar or corn syrup, so the sugar stuff came out a little different.  The fudge was good, but soft like cake frosting, the english toffee was good, but a really different texture, the peanut brittle didn't set up until we froze it, and then it was really good.  Not that any of this mattered, the missionaries had a great feast, and of course a lot of it was things that the Africans had never seen before. Elder Amison assembled a video montage of the Church films of the life of Jesus, and it was great, ending of course with the patriarch reading the Christmas story from Luke.

January started off with some exciting-sad-good news.  Three of our missionaries had been sent out of or diverted from Zimbabwe at the same time we were going through the visa challenge, and they were sent to our Zambia mission to wait.  We found out they were actually going to be able to go back to Zim, after 6 months here, and finish their mission where they had been initally assigned.  We lost two sisters, one from California/Tonga and one from South Africa, along with one elder from Uganda, who was a district leader at the time.  Zim got three fully trained "new" missionaries. We shed a few tears--it is so easy to learn to love these fine young people, and off they went on their new assignment.  We have received one replacement elder, and are to receive the two replacement sisters on the 30th of January.

We also received news that we will be getting another senior couple to serve as CES missionaries here in Blantyre. They will be responsible for Seminaries and Institutes.  Sister Reynolds is excited to have someone to talk to.  I have been house-hunting for the last week or so, since they will be arriving in March, and we will need to find and furnish a new house for them.  You would not believe the houses we have looked at.  I told the estate agents what I wanted, and of course they want to trade up if they can, since their commission is usually more for a higher rental.  We looked at one place which was the residence of a former member of Parliament--oh my stars!  It was at least 3000 square feet on each of three floors, I mean about 10,000 sq ft including the three car garage.  The master suite had an enormous round bed, columns, mirrors, six closets, etc., etc., Sister Reynolds wanted to take the kitchen home with her, it had double ovens, island cooktop, and a separate prep room for food, walk in pantry, and tons of cupboard space.  The place was tiled from floor to ceiling in most of the rooms, ceramic tile floors or wood throughout, balconies from each of the six bedrooms, all with bathrooms ensuite, and an open air stairwell in the center of the house.  All this for USD
$1275/month. It might have been OK for a mission home, but I only need a nice home for two senior missionaries!  Half of one floor would have been more than sufficient.

We also looked at some houses which might have been suitable, but the location, security, access, or mutiple floors were not good for a 79-year old and his wife. We did find one house in a nice area, with easy road access, and within two blocks of one of our sister's flats.  It is a little too big with four bedrooms and four baths, but would be nice to use about half the house and close the rest off.  It is on about two acres, but only 1/4 of it is maintained, the rest is old fruit orchard. They just cut the grass during the rainy season, and then let it go during the winter.  The rent was really reasonable, about USD$650/mo.  If we don't find something else in the next few days, I will check with Pres. Erickson and see if that would be alright.

We have four new Malawi missionaries leaving within the next two months, so we are also working with them to get them outfitted and ready to go. Most of them have nothing, or very little.  We shop like mad for suitable used clothing, luggage, and shoulder bags.  You wouldn't believe we could get 8 shirts, several pair of slacks, ties, socks, shoes, and most of their other needs for less than $200.  It is an adventure in thrift shopping.  You would have to see three blocks of shoes for sale by the side of the road, no shops, no sizes, just whatever is available today, kind of like an open air vegetable market.  Good used white shirts come from the laundry services, who replace their stock when it looks the least bit worn.  I don't know where they find the socks, but they are reasonable, although you will never find two pair the same color or style. The ties are something else.

One of the biggest expenditures is for a decent set of scriptures and the missionary reference set.  Now if we could just get scriptures it would be helpful.  The announcement of new versions in the US has eaten up all the production of the scriptures.  We haven't been able to buy a Bible for at least three months.  I know we aren't a priority out here in the hinterlands, but it would be nice to send our people out with something besides a paperback version from Seminary.

The rainy season is going on now.  They told us it would really rain, and it has, but not for too long.  We get a pretty good downpour for several hours, then it turns into a nice soaking rain, and the temperature drops into the low 70's.  Of course the Africans are all freezing to death at that temperature.  You see them in stocking caps and gloves with their coats on.  They have a very narrow range of comfort, somewhere between 75* and 85*--outside that it's too cold or too hot.  I suppose we will get that way before we go home, but for us now, it's very comfortable.

The missionaries have accepted a new challenge to build the church up and not so much out.  The people here in Malawi are very open to the gospel of Jesus Christ.  They love him, and are anxious to follow their Lord and Savior.  Most of them are in church somewhere on Saturday or Sunday, and they love to talk about the Lord.  That makes it very easy for the missionaries to find people to teach, so they seldom knock on anyone's door.  They just ask for referrals and follow up.  However, we need more professional people, and those with more leadership skills to help build the church.  Because we do not have paid ministers, we need people who will work, "doers of the word and not hearers only" in order to build strong congregations
and stronger families.  We need people who are personally financially stable so that they can devote time to the Lord.  There are many strong people among the poor, but they can hardly spare time to build the church when they are working 80 hours a week just to feed their family.  Of course, people who are already doing well in life tend to think they don't need the Lord, and here in Malawi, they live in a fenced compound with a guard at the gate.  It's really easy to tell the guard that he can tell those missionaries at the gate that he's not interested, or can't be bothered right now.  The missionaries are working hard to find ways to contact those people directly, and also teaching all the guards they can talk to.  We have seen some really high-power people come into the church in the last couple of months, attorneys, educators, public officials, businessmen. It is really exciting to see what happens when the counsel of our leaders becomes our focus and guide. The best part is that the missionaries are using us to help them teach, since we seem to represent a more successful role model, rather than just 19-year-olds with a message.  And we have met some really wonderful people because of this.  We love to be involved directly with teaching, and more than that we love to see how the gospel changes people's lives.  It truly does make bad men good and good men better.  

Wednesday, October 23, 2013





It is time to do battle with the wily mosquito.  Note the steely glint in the eye of our hero as he prepares to administer the coup de grace to the stealth version of the mosquito world.  This species is noted for its ability to disappear from open view, even with several sets of eyes watching.  They seem to rotate into the next dimension and vanish.  Not only that, but they don't make any noise on approach. Various attempts to dispatch them with bare hands only lead to frustration.  In an effort to even the odds, he procures a 21st century electronic weapon--the "BUG ZAPPER" capable of discharging 2,750 volts across the grid.  At last, a sure means of eradication is at hand (no pun here, it's all in the wrist).  The best part is the blue flash and sharp report which accompanies success in the hunt, not to mention the applause by his spouse as he dispatches another of his sharp-nosed assailants.

Did you know that anopheles (the species he is hunting) means "good for nothing" in Greek?--an apt name if I every heard one.  The only use we have for them is to feed the swallows, swifts, and martens which patrol the skies by day and by the dozens, searching for the elusive prey.  And by night the bats are about with the same aim. Need I tell you that this is our chief sport and entertainment each evening before retiring?  

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Sorry if some of the pictures have disappeared.  We were reminded that we are not allowed to post any pictures of individuals unless we have their express permission to do so.  The privacy laws vary from country to country, so to avoid any problems, we will have to forbear.  "We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, and in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law."

However, we have really good news.  Our local immigration office OK'd our TEP visas for the next two years, so we should be able to stay in Blantyre for the whole time (until March 2015).  Sister Reynolds heaved a sigh of relief.  After a rocky start, it is nice to have a sense of permanence!

Sunday, October 13, 2013


Today was quite a day.  We got a call last night from one of our Elders, who apologized for not inviting us sooner.  He and his companion were expecting to have 10 baptisms on Sunday and wanted to know if we wanted to be there.  Of course it meant getting up at 4:00 so we could leave Blantyre at 5:30 and drive two hours, but we were excited to be invited.  Our missionaries are only working in the area for two days each month, so all of these people were taught and fellowshipped by the members.  We would love to have a mission couple work in there, which would give us an opportunity to put four elders in the area full time.  We keep praying for someone to answer the call to Africa.  The area would be a neat assignment if we didn't already have one in Blantyre.

The branch is located in an area where we had visited three weeks previous, so we sort of knew the way, but elected to follow the missionaries, who had another couple with them.  It was a great trip.  It turned out we had nine baptisms, which were performed in a swimming pool.  The owners have been very gracious in allowing us to use their facility in the early morning before the guests will be up and about. 

I will include a couple of photos of the meeting house which is under construction.  It is basically a longhouse with two offices in the back.  They are currently meeting in a large house on the property, which will continue to be used for classrooms.
We had 56 adults in attendance at Sacrament Meeting, with another dozen or so children. It would be like having over 50 people in your living room/dining room of your home.  It is exciting to see the church move forward.  

Friday, September 27, 2013

We had a wonderful time the week of Sept 17-23. Elder and Sister Lyles, Humanitarian Missionaries for the LDS Church had asked if we could help with logistics during the week they were here with a US team. They were conducting training seminars for the Helping Babies Breathe Project. We drove up to Ntcheu to meet them as they were driving down from Lilongwe, thus saving them having to drive all the way to Blantyre and stay over for several days. That was a fun ride, we only got lost once, and almost made it home without getting lost, although we did miss a couple of turnoffs and had to turn around. There are almost no road signs in Malawi, no highway markers, no standard village naming signs, no speed limit signs except in the villages, and no shoulders on most of the roads. We would just ask the soldiers at the checkpoints if we were still on the right road, and where to turn next. They have plenty of those, so you shouldn't be able to get more than 25 kilometers before there is someone to ask. They were very helpful and polite, standing there with their AK-47's. The team took us out to dinner at the 21 Grill, a regionally famous eatery adjacent to the Protea Ryalls Hotel. It's possibly the finest place in town to eat, but dinner cost us all of 9,000MK or about $25US for both of us. The group bribed the band, and when they brought out Sis. Reynolds' dessert (a banana split with a candle in it) they all sang Happy Birthday To You. It was awesome, totally caught her unaware. :-)
After the seminars, we furnished transport back to Liwonde, but elected to stay overnight at Hippo Lodge and go with some of the Mission Couples on a two-hour boat safari on the Shire (say she-ray) River through Liwonde National Park. Most of the pictures are of that trip. Being in the boat, we could really get close to the animals, so we took about 200 pictures or so. Then we drove back to Blantyre while the team continued on to Lilongwe and their flight home.
Two of our Elders have completed their missions, so they went home this week 9/26. Elders Muhlauyo and Machiridza are great young men, and each will be a strong leader in his homeland. This is Africa's time, and being a part of this explosive growth and change is amazing. It is so good to be able to support these young people as they serve. We are truly blessed. Not only that, but we live in a beautiful place--the flowering trees are lovely, not to mention that they smell good and the birds awaken us with lovely song, albeit a little early.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

We are pretty well settled in Blantyre by now. We have a nice flat, with two bedrooms and two baths so that we can have other couples stay with us when they are in the area. The Sister Missionaries were staying here, but we got a new flat for them so we have the house to ourselves most of the time. The Sisters were glad to move, since their new flat is very close to the branch chapel where they are assigned in Ndirande, and that is right at the edge of their area. They were taking the public transportation every day to reach their area, about 4 km from the house, so too far to walk. The buses are the combies, basically nine passenger Toyota's, with 18 people riding in them. All the missionaries use them, but we have never been brave enough to try it.

The weekend of Aug 23, 24 Elder Reynolds went camping with the YM of the Blantyre District, their first ever YM camp. It was quite an adventure. We drove for about 3 hours to reach the mountain, and then another 3km up the forest road in Mulanje National Park. There is a turnaround where we dropped off all the boys and gear for another 30 minute hike up the mountain. I drove back down to the ranger station to leave the truck and the bus we had rented. Then two of the young men and I started back up the mountain on foot to join the others. Silly me, I listened to them when they said they knew a short cut. The African version is based on just a shorter distance, not necessarily the easiest way. Instead of walking back up the road, we took a 40% grade trail over the top of two ridges--the old man was huffing like a hippopotamus by the time we got to camp 90 minutes later. Talk about scouting challenge--the last 100 meters is a scramble, and if I hadn't been able to hear the boys ahead laughing in the campsite, I might not have made it! I was awakened by the laughing of the hyenas about 0300, and several minutes later could hear the sound of munching right next to my head. Several of the boys got up and chased them away, after which they secured our food supply for the night. I wasn't sure how big the hyenas were, so I didn't get a picture, however I did photograph the tracks next to our tent the next morning. The following weekend of Aug 30, 31, both Sister Reynolds and I got to go with the YW of the Blantyre District for their camp. It was another adventure, this time because of the roads and the days we were driving. The main road between Blantyre and Nkopola is under construction, so it consists of many detours--took us 5 hours to cover 200km. Also because it goes through many small villages, and the weekend is their market days, it was an obstacle course of pedestrians, bicyclists, and combies about every 5km or so. There was no hike in, however, since the Nkopola Lodge is right on Lake Malawi. Not only that, but the priesthood advisers were put up in "chalets" (pronounced like pallets) with warm showers, bathrooms, air-conditioning, and electric service. Not quite the same as the week before. We had a marvelous camp, Sister Reynolds taught a first-aid class, and we were entertained by the monkeys and baboons which frequent the camp (stealing any left out food--worse than mice). This campsite was gorgeous, palm trees, sandy beach, grass covered camping area, covered cooking facility, very nice, indeed. It cost us 2000MK per girl, but that's less than $6US.